Physiological Precursors to Anger or Rage

Many of the of the posts I have done are on the topic of anger. I run an anger management program in Bel Air, Maryland and we have graduated about 125 people. One of the issues we discuss is how can you tell if we are on the verge of anger.

Something physical happens to alert you that you are on the verge of anger. Everyone has something that happens. Here are some examples:

• Heart beats fast
• Ears turn red
• Tingling scalp
• Band of tension around your head
• Clenched jaw and holding teeth tight
• Shaking
• Clenched fists
• Heightened sense of awareness
• Blotchy skin
• Butterflies or a knot in the pit of your stomach

If you can identify your early warning signal, you will be in a better place to handle your anger. First you need to identify your early warning signal, then when you notice it coming on, you can take a step back, regroup and handle the situation that presents itself. It acts as a warning sign, be wise and heed the warning.

You can do this, you will need to practice, but I believe that everyone can identify their early warning signal and then utilize it as a clarion call to prevent inappropriate responses to anger.

Blessings,
Carol

2006 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.

Christmas

As we approach the birth of Jesus Christ, I am reminded of all of the people who are in my life that bless me. It is amazing as I count the friends and family members who bless me on a regular basis.

I wish for you to be surrounded by those who love you and those you love. I pray that as you prepare to meet with your family this holiday season that you are reminded of their love for you, no matter what it might look like on the outside.

The holidays have a tendency to challenge us in many ways. Maybe it is a relative or friend who drinks or drugs too much and is belligerent. Or maybe it is the person who is hyper critical and there isn't anything you can do right. Maybe it is the person who plays the martyr and craves attention.

No matter what the personality of the other person, it is important for you to remember that you are only responsible for yourself, not the other person. Remind yourself to have compassion for those around you.

Whoever you are with this holiday season, be with them fully. Stay focused on your responses to the hard interactions, rather than respond out of jealousy, envy, hatred or greed, respond out of a place of loving and compassion. May this Christmas season be a joyous one for you and yours.

Be blessed as you bless others,

Carol

2006 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.

20 Indicators That You Might Have an Anger Problem

The anger management program I run is called the Rage and Anger Neutrulization Training Program (RANT). It is 12 session program where we learn about anger and it’s impact on us as well as ways to handle anger. In this article we will talk about Anger's Red Flags.

The following is a list of 20 indicators that you might have an anger problem

• You get into fights either physical or verbally
• You lose your temper often
• You have gotten fired from your job due to anger
• You need to explain your aggressive behavior often
• You go to court for anger related issues
• You display destructive behavior
• You engage in physical violence
• You injure yourself in a moment of anger
• You display road rage
• Your conversations frequently turn into heated debates
• You frequently use profanity when angry
• You usually see the worst in people
• You don’t get along with your family
• You have few close friends
• You don’t get asked to do things with friends
• You are excessively competitive in relationships
• You have a difficulty accepting criticism
• You have difficulty adapting to change
• You are a perfectionist
• You have difficulty acknowledging that viewpoints other than yours are valid

If you have one or two of these, you may not have a serious anger problem. However, if you see a cluster of these in your life it may be time for you to take a proactive approach to your anger. Some suggestions for getting help. Pray. Talk with a friend who does not respond in anger like you do. Seek professional help. Be honest with yourself, if you have an anger problem acknowledge it up front. Stop making excuses for your behavior. To find a therapist in your area, click on this link: Therapist Locator, American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (read the disclaimer and if you agree, click agree and then enter your zip code).

Blessings,

Carol

2006 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.