Time with Your Children

How much time do you spend with your children? In a national survey the numbers may surprise you, the survey indicates that parents will spend about two (2) hours a day with their child engaged in some level of conversation. Compare that to the four (4) hours they spend communicating with their friends. We know that these numbers change based on a number of factors. One is age; as a child gets older, they will spend even more time with their friends.

We hear that children are influenced by their friends. If we look at the the number of hours children spend with their parent, we can see why that might be so. What this means for us is that if we want to have influence over our children, we need to spend time with them.

According to the Office of National Drug Control Strategy, when strong ties are formed between children and their families, and between families and their children’s schools, children are least likely to develop drug problems.

to begin spending more time with your children, first determine for yourself what amount of time you want to spend with your child. This is an important part of the equation. Spending your time with your child out of a sense of drudgery will not yield a productive interchange.

Here are some ways you can spend more time with you children. Individual Time is very important to children. You could engage in activities like reading together, cooking, taking a walk, playing a board game, going to lunch, going to the playground or the park, as example.

Family Time is also important to a child’s development. Group activities include all of the same things for individual time. In addition you could play a game that involves more than two (2) players, eating a meal together or doing chores together.

The third kind of time is Community Time. This could include going to church as a family, working at a homeless shelter, collecting toys for a toy drive, attending community plays or concerts, attending siblings sporting events, to name a few.

So, pick a few activities and participate with your child. You and your child will definitely benefit from your time together.

Blessings
Carol

2007 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.

Goal Setting

There are two main reasons to set goals in counseling. The first is to give the client direction and the second is to help them make plans for change.

Goals need to be internalized so that the person believe that they can make a change inside themselves. If they can't believe it for themselves, as a counselor we can believe it for them. Goals also need to be externalized, that is making the change happen and continuing the change.

It is important to set up goals and time frames for treatment. Goals must be believable to the person themselves as well as the therapist. Goals also need to be achievable. It must be in their ability to do the task.

Goals may be done in session or at home. There are Long Term Goals and Short Term Goals. Long term goals are set to help the person see the results that are to be obtained. It is not important that these goals be completed while still in counseling they may be longer term than the sessions themselves.

Short term goals are the steps to accomplish the long term goals. They are action steps and are usually accomplished while in counseling.

You do not need to be in counseling to set goals for yourself. You can do them right there at your computer right now. Determine what you would like to change in yourself. Once you have a list of things, start with the first one. Ask yourself, "How would I like to be different in one (1) year concerning this issue. Then write down the steps that you will need to accomplish that issue.

Here is an example. Say you would like to exercise to get into better health. The long term goal would be: Get into better health with exercise. The short term goals would be the steps to help you reach that goal. Some examples of short term goals would be: 1) exercise at least one time this week for at least 20 minutes 2) next week I will exercise at least two time 3) within one month exercise at least four times a week. These are incremental goals that are achievable. If you started out with step 3 you might feel discouraged even before you got started.

Here is hoping that you will set out to make some changes in your life. Do not get discouraged, inch by inch anything is a cinch.

Blessings
Carol

2007 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.