Denial

The definition of denial is a refusal to believe or accept or acknowledge and the second definition is the act of contradiction. You might ask yourself: Is denial ok?

It can be a healthy way of dealing with an uncomfortable and painful situation. Denial functions as a buffer after unexpected shocking news. It allows the person to collect him/herself, and, with time mobilize other, less radical defenses. Denial is a usually a temporary defense.

You might know that denial is one of the stages of Grief. Helen Kubler-Ross set out the stages of grief in her book On Death and Dying. The stages of grief are: Denial and isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

The focus on denial is because we use denial often in our lives. Think for a moment of the last thing you denied. Was it something small or something big, “No, I wasn’t speeding, Officer.” or “No, I didn’t take that cookie/CD/car/IPOD, etc.

Often, when we deny something we are lying. How different do you think your life would be if you told the truth. How different would you feel about yourself if you let your yes be yes and your no be no?”

Let’s try this, shall we. For the next 10 days, practice telling the truth and not be in denial. At the end of that time, I imagine that you will see a difference in how you feel about yourself.

Blessing,

Carol

2009 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT,
All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.