Encouragement

Encouragement means to give courage, hope or confidence. It is the process whereby a person focuses on the other person’s resources in order to build that person's, self esteem, self confidence or feelings of worth. Encouragers approach people expecting the best and therefore usually get the best. Encouragement helps people believe in their abilities and increases their confidence.

Think for a moment when you were a child and you accomplished a certain goal, remember the feelings of satisfaction? Who was the first person you wanted to tell about your success? Why did you choose that person? Think of a time you had a problem and needed to talk to someone? Who was that person? Why did you choose that them? Chances are that person was an encourager to you.

Let’s talk about factors that block encouragement. Our own lack of self-confidence is one thing, pessimism which limits our ability to increase our sense of strength and worth, our own background and upbringing are other factors that block encouragement. Other things include our values, jealousy of others, fear and our own inconsistences.

There is a difference between encouragement and praise. Both focus on positive behavior. Praise is a reward based on achievement. It is external. It can be a method of control to get others to do your will.

Encouragement on the other hand focuses on effort, improvement and the individual's resources and assets, it looks for and accentuates the positive.

Sometimes we need to be our own encourager. It’s important to validate and to care for ourselves. Stay away from negative self talk and try to be more self accepting. It’s important to learn to forgive yourself.
There are two major ways in which we establish worth and value. Feedback we receive from others comes from praise, recognition, salary or income, house, car, status, religiosity. These are temporal if we lose those things we may begin to feel a lack of self worth.

We do not need to set competitive standards or comparisons to others. If we are functioning in a way we are satisfied with, comparisons become irrelevant. We are able to focus on our own efforts, contributions and assets and we, as a result have a wider perspective on life.

Be an encourager and find those who need encouragement. You will feel better about yourself if you do and other will feel good about themselves.

1 Thess 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing
2 Tim 4:2 Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage with great patience and careful instruction
Heb 3:13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness

Blessing,
Carol

2006 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.