Assessing Your Anger Before You Act on It

We all become angry, it is a part of our emotional package. I believe that it is important to ask yourself four (4) questions as you assess your anger before you act on it.

The questions are quite simple. Number one (1): Is it important? Ask yourself if this were the last day of my life would it still matter enough for me to get angry about this.

Number two (2): Is it appropriate? Think about how you would describe this situation to a friend, would they respond in the same way you are about to respond?

Question number three (3): Is it modifiable? Bad weather, slow traffic or power failures, may be aggravating, but, they are beyond your control.

The final question: Is it worth it? Will getting this angry serve you in some way? In the big scheme of things will you be better off getting this angry?

When change seems possible, come up with a specific, reasonable request to bring it about. If your anger is warrented and worthwhile, switch to a problem solving mode and come up with a plan to change the situation. Anger is not the problem, it is how you respond to the anger. You are always responsible for your response. So, slow down your reply and make an action plan for the next time you get angry, be ready with an appropriate response.

Blessings,

Carol

2007 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.