One of the most important keys to opening the door to friendship is to keep lines of communication open. Be willing to be friendly, be open and warm, and don’t start every sentence with the word I. Mutual trust develops slowly. Don’t make the mistake of sharing everything the first time you meet someone, take your time, connect slowly. At some point you will choose to be vulnerable.
Another important aspect about friendship is helping the other person feel competent. Focus on their strong points, ask their advice, and be a sounding board. People love for you to focus on them, asking them questions. The give and take needs to feel balanced between two people.
I think another important thing in a relationship is to take mutual responsibility for your interactions. We probably have all been in a situation where we are the only person taking the initiative in the relationship, the only one calling or emailing. That can be frustrating, but not impossible to address. Instead of not calling the person at all, ask for a get together and discuss the fact that the relationship feels one sided. The person will be happy to comply, blow you off completely, give a reasonable excuse for their non participation or something in between. Either way, you will get some feedback.
Enjoy your friends and be the best friend you can be.
Blessing,
Carol
2007 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.
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