What would it be like if you took a few minutes every day and jotted down what blessings you experienced during each day? Do you think that you could find a blessing, even one each day? I think that you can do it!
Find a journal or notebook and start today. I learned about this from my good friend Glenna Hadley. At our annual Thanks Giving Party, she stood to share about taking moments each day to write down the blessings she experienced. She listed simple things like a smile from her grandchild or her husband, Joe getting her coffee. Simple things.
So, for my birthday, which is in December, my friend Gwen Pangborn gave me a blank journal and on the front page she wrote the words Blessings Journal and gave it to me with the reminder of Glenna's sharing. She encouraged me to do what Glenna had suggested.
I have begun to do that. Each day after my Bible reading and before I turn out the light, I ask myself what blessings I experienced that day. I have written in simple things like "finally finished a letter" or "slept in" or "worked on geneology today." I have also written bigger things as well like "Dad's PSA numbers came back the lowest that they could be!"
It is a wonderful thing to do. I would encourage you to find a time of day that you can do it consistently, it is important for you to do it daily. So, go out and get that journal or notebook and start this today.
Blessing,
Carol
2009 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT
All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Where Do You Cast Your Cares
1 Peter 5:7 tells us to cast all of our cares upon him (Jesus) because he cares for us. Other words for cares might be worry or concerns or anxiety. What are you worried about, what are you anxious about? One only has to turn on the television or radio and the pundits will be telling you the next thing to worry about.
Phillipians 4:6 tells us Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Proverbs 12:25 tells us that anxiety in the heart of a man weighs it down, but a good work makes it glad. So, it seems to be a simple solution to our cares/anxieties/worries. Step one, cast your cares on Jesus. Step two don't worry. Step three present your requests to God. Step four give thanks. When you do these four steps, you will not be weighed down.
So, the next time you are anxious, call on Jesus because he cares for you.
Blessing,
Carol
2009 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT
All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.
Phillipians 4:6 tells us Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Proverbs 12:25 tells us that anxiety in the heart of a man weighs it down, but a good work makes it glad. So, it seems to be a simple solution to our cares/anxieties/worries. Step one, cast your cares on Jesus. Step two don't worry. Step three present your requests to God. Step four give thanks. When you do these four steps, you will not be weighed down.
So, the next time you are anxious, call on Jesus because he cares for you.
Blessing,
Carol
2009 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT
All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Top 10 Common Driving Mistakes
The following are common driving mistakes. These simple things cause accidents, beware as you drive.
- Failing to pay attention - zoning out
- Driving while drowsy
- Becoming distracted inside the car
- Failing to adjust to weather conditions
- Driving aggressively
- Making assumptions about other driver’s intentions
- Speeding
- Changing lanes without checking blind spots and mirrors
- Driving while upset
- Ignoring essential auto maintenance
This information is from the National Save Driving Test and Initiative Partners. So, drive safely my friends.
Blessing,
Carol A. Deel
2008 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Effective Problem Solving
There are six steps to effective problem solving. The first step is to define the needs. State your need using I messages. Listen to other person’s needs using active listening techniques. Then identify the needs.
The second step is to generate ideas/solutions. Encourage the other person’s contributions. Then give your own solutions. Use brainstorming to generate a good list of solutions.
The third step is to evaluate the solutions. Decide if the solution suggestions are acceptable or not. Always be on the look-out for nonverbal cues.
Step four is to decide on mutually acceptable solution(s). It is always important to restate the needs and solutions decided upon.
Step five is to implement the solutions you decided on. Answering these questions is important: Who - What - When - Where - Where
Step six is follow-up. Set a time to check how the solution is working. Be willing to adjust the solution or redefine needs if necessary.
The benefits of effective problem solving are numerous. Everyone will have more motivation and self discipline to honor and implement the solution. When people are given a voice in making a decision, they are more motivated to carry it out than if a decision is imposed on them.
Power plays no part in the effective problem solving. It calls for "What is the best solution?" as opposed to "Who has the most power?" The effective problem solving method honors each person's right to have freedom.
Remember the 20% -- 80% Philosophy. It states that we often spend 80% of our time and energy focusing on the 20% of any situation that seems negative to us. We then lose sight of the 80% that is positive. Stay focused on the full 100% and you will become an efficient problem solver.
Blessings,
Carol A. Deel
2007 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.
The second step is to generate ideas/solutions. Encourage the other person’s contributions. Then give your own solutions. Use brainstorming to generate a good list of solutions.
The third step is to evaluate the solutions. Decide if the solution suggestions are acceptable or not. Always be on the look-out for nonverbal cues.
Step four is to decide on mutually acceptable solution(s). It is always important to restate the needs and solutions decided upon.
Step five is to implement the solutions you decided on. Answering these questions is important: Who - What - When - Where - Where
Step six is follow-up. Set a time to check how the solution is working. Be willing to adjust the solution or redefine needs if necessary.
The benefits of effective problem solving are numerous. Everyone will have more motivation and self discipline to honor and implement the solution. When people are given a voice in making a decision, they are more motivated to carry it out than if a decision is imposed on them.
Power plays no part in the effective problem solving. It calls for "What is the best solution?" as opposed to "Who has the most power?" The effective problem solving method honors each person's right to have freedom.
Remember the 20% -- 80% Philosophy. It states that we often spend 80% of our time and energy focusing on the 20% of any situation that seems negative to us. We then lose sight of the 80% that is positive. Stay focused on the full 100% and you will become an efficient problem solver.
Blessings,
Carol A. Deel
2007 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Dealing Effectively With Criticism
Don’t mind criticism! If it is untrue, disregard it. If it is unfair, ignore it. If it is justified, learn from it. If it is mean spirited, decide if it is beneficial to be in relationship with this person.
It is important to understand that criticism is an inevitable part of life. No one can please everyone all of the time. Don’t take criticism personally. Constructive criticism is generally directed at situations and behaviors, rather than directly at the person.
If the person’s motives are honorable, take the criticism in the spirit in which it was offered. Think of it as feedback that will provide you with growth opportunities, learn from it and improve yourself. Try not to argue with the person who criticizes you. Such arguments rarely solve anything. Ask questions that will help clarify the situation.
Generally it is not a good idea to offer criticism unless it is absolutely essential. If a person asks for your opinion, take your time before answering. Rushed answers don’t always come out the way you want them to. Be honest. Use the sandwich theory of offering you opinion: Say something positive, Say the negative or non positive thing and then say something positive again.
Hearing criticism about ourselves is often times difficult. My encouragement to you is to think of criticism at a Personal Growth Workshop, you will definitely learn something from what is being said. When someone criticizes you, take a moment and reflect on the words spoken and the ones you will speak, then respond.
Blessings,
Carol
2007 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.
It is important to understand that criticism is an inevitable part of life. No one can please everyone all of the time. Don’t take criticism personally. Constructive criticism is generally directed at situations and behaviors, rather than directly at the person.
If the person’s motives are honorable, take the criticism in the spirit in which it was offered. Think of it as feedback that will provide you with growth opportunities, learn from it and improve yourself. Try not to argue with the person who criticizes you. Such arguments rarely solve anything. Ask questions that will help clarify the situation.
Generally it is not a good idea to offer criticism unless it is absolutely essential. If a person asks for your opinion, take your time before answering. Rushed answers don’t always come out the way you want them to. Be honest. Use the sandwich theory of offering you opinion: Say something positive, Say the negative or non positive thing and then say something positive again.
Hearing criticism about ourselves is often times difficult. My encouragement to you is to think of criticism at a Personal Growth Workshop, you will definitely learn something from what is being said. When someone criticizes you, take a moment and reflect on the words spoken and the ones you will speak, then respond.
Blessings,
Carol
2007 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Building Positive Productive Relationships
One of the most important keys to opening the door to friendship is to keep lines of communication open. Be willing to be friendly, be open and warm, and don’t start every sentence with the word I. Mutual trust develops slowly. Don’t make the mistake of sharing everything the first time you meet someone, take your time, connect slowly. At some point you will choose to be vulnerable.
Another important aspect about friendship is helping the other person feel competent. Focus on their strong points, ask their advice, and be a sounding board. People love for you to focus on them, asking them questions. The give and take needs to feel balanced between two people.
I think another important thing in a relationship is to take mutual responsibility for your interactions. We probably have all been in a situation where we are the only person taking the initiative in the relationship, the only one calling or emailing. That can be frustrating, but not impossible to address. Instead of not calling the person at all, ask for a get together and discuss the fact that the relationship feels one sided. The person will be happy to comply, blow you off completely, give a reasonable excuse for their non participation or something in between. Either way, you will get some feedback.
Enjoy your friends and be the best friend you can be.
Blessing,
Carol
2007 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.
Another important aspect about friendship is helping the other person feel competent. Focus on their strong points, ask their advice, and be a sounding board. People love for you to focus on them, asking them questions. The give and take needs to feel balanced between two people.
I think another important thing in a relationship is to take mutual responsibility for your interactions. We probably have all been in a situation where we are the only person taking the initiative in the relationship, the only one calling or emailing. That can be frustrating, but not impossible to address. Instead of not calling the person at all, ask for a get together and discuss the fact that the relationship feels one sided. The person will be happy to comply, blow you off completely, give a reasonable excuse for their non participation or something in between. Either way, you will get some feedback.
Enjoy your friends and be the best friend you can be.
Blessing,
Carol
2007 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Setting Limits and Establishing Boundaries
Outside of you are all of the needs and demands of all the people around you. Inside of you are your own needs, demands and desires. It’s important to notice and appreciate the difference between what is important to you and what is important to others. Being able to set limits establishes that boundary.
The purpose of having boundaries is to protect and take care of ourselves. We need to be able to tell other people when they are acting in ways that are not acceptable to us.
A first step is starting to know that we have a right to establish boundaries. You also have a right and a duty to take responsibility for you. It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone who has no boundaries. Learning how to set boundaries is a necessary step in learning to be a friend to ourselves. It is our responsibility to take care of ourselves - to protect ourselves when it is necessary.
Here are some suggestions for setting limits. First, take your time. Delay your response until you know what you are able to do, check you calender, check with your spouse or significant other. Secondly, don’t over apologize, you have the right to set limits or saying no. Sometimes over apologizing invites the other person to put more pressure on you to change your mind. Next, don’t put yourself down, saying "I won’t" is better than "I can’t." The other person will try to convince you that you can. Also, be specific, state exactly what you are and are not willing to do. Be aware of your voice and body language, stand or sit comfortably, look the other person in the eye and speak with confidence. Finally, beware of guilt. Sometimes when we say no, we feel guilty and we might be willing to offer something else.
So, set boundaries and take care of your needs. Focus on what is important to you, and then you can be clear with yourself and with others.
Blessings,
Carol
2007 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.
The purpose of having boundaries is to protect and take care of ourselves. We need to be able to tell other people when they are acting in ways that are not acceptable to us.
A first step is starting to know that we have a right to establish boundaries. You also have a right and a duty to take responsibility for you. It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone who has no boundaries. Learning how to set boundaries is a necessary step in learning to be a friend to ourselves. It is our responsibility to take care of ourselves - to protect ourselves when it is necessary.
Here are some suggestions for setting limits. First, take your time. Delay your response until you know what you are able to do, check you calender, check with your spouse or significant other. Secondly, don’t over apologize, you have the right to set limits or saying no. Sometimes over apologizing invites the other person to put more pressure on you to change your mind. Next, don’t put yourself down, saying "I won’t" is better than "I can’t." The other person will try to convince you that you can. Also, be specific, state exactly what you are and are not willing to do. Be aware of your voice and body language, stand or sit comfortably, look the other person in the eye and speak with confidence. Finally, beware of guilt. Sometimes when we say no, we feel guilty and we might be willing to offer something else.
So, set boundaries and take care of your needs. Focus on what is important to you, and then you can be clear with yourself and with others.
Blessings,
Carol
2007 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.
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