When thinking about difficult people it is easy to think in us and them terms...they are difficult, we are not. We are all difficult people at some time and it is important to acknowledge this right from the start. Less than 10% of people in the work place are in the difficult people category. These same people cause as much as 50% or more of the stress, lack of production and demotivation in the work place.
People are not necessarily born to be difficult people, they learn this through trial and error; when a technique works the tendency is for it to be continued. Difficult people use behavioral techniques or skills to control situations. Learning how to cope with difficulty is the key. We can not change the people or their behavior, we can only change our reaction to them.
There are seven types of difficult people according to Robert M. Bramson's Coping with Difficult People (1981, New York: Dell). The first is Hostile/Aggressive, Complainers, Unresponsive, Super-Agreeables, Negativists, Know-it-all-Experts, and Indecisives.
So, which one are you? We all have experienced one or more of these personalities. It’s important to know which category you fit into. If you know how you display your difficulty, you will have less of a tendency to repeat it.
In our next blog we will discuss how to deal with each of these categories of difficulty people. In the mean time, remind yourself that being a difficulty person is a disadvantage to you and those around you. You can make a different choice. I invite you to chose to be a person who does not display those traits.
Blessings,
Carol
2006 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.
People are not necessarily born to be difficult people, they learn this through trial and error; when a technique works the tendency is for it to be continued. Difficult people use behavioral techniques or skills to control situations. Learning how to cope with difficulty is the key. We can not change the people or their behavior, we can only change our reaction to them.
There are seven types of difficult people according to Robert M. Bramson's Coping with Difficult People (1981, New York: Dell). The first is Hostile/Aggressive, Complainers, Unresponsive, Super-Agreeables, Negativists, Know-it-all-Experts, and Indecisives.
So, which one are you? We all have experienced one or more of these personalities. It’s important to know which category you fit into. If you know how you display your difficulty, you will have less of a tendency to repeat it.
In our next blog we will discuss how to deal with each of these categories of difficulty people. In the mean time, remind yourself that being a difficulty person is a disadvantage to you and those around you. You can make a different choice. I invite you to chose to be a person who does not display those traits.
Blessings,
Carol
2006 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.
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