Personal Space

We all have a distance that we feel comfortable with when talking to other people. We usually have a buffer zone around our bodies that we do not allow others to come into without a loud warning bell going off in our heads. We will usually move away to increase the distance between us. We generally not do this with family members and other loved ones. Closeness lends a sense of intimacy that may be too uncomfortable. Americans usually need more space than other cultures.

This buffer are is called personal space, also know as proxemics which was defined by the anthropologist Edward T. Hall. He tells us the categories of distances with which many Americans feel comfortable:

• 6-18 inches, close space, considered an intimate distance, reserved for significant others
• 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 feet, personal space, appropriate for close conversation with good friends
• 3 to 7 feet, close social distance, this is the zone you're most likely to find yourself in while talking with a coworker or boss
• 12 to 25 feet, close public distance, a good distance for speaking in front of a group

So, if you are talking to someone and you notice them slowly back up, understand that it is their way of widening the buffer between the two of you. It will be important to not try to close the gap. It is also important to avoid physical contact with a person you do not have a relationship with. An exception is a handshake when we meet another person. However the handshake should be brief.

Blessing,
Carol

2006 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.