Self Esteem

The definition of Self Esteem is a three part process. The first is the way we see ourselves, such as attractive versus ugly; athletic versus klutzy; smart versus dumb; spiritual versus non-spiritual; emotionally sound versus depressed; in the right click/group versus being in the wrong click. The second part is the way we think others see us and the third is the way we think God sees us, such as in His will versus out of His will, in the right group versus not in the right group, obedient versus sinful.

So, is self esteem good or bad? The Bible says that you should esteem others above yourselves. Scriptures such as: Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard (esteem) one another as more important then himself (Philippians 2:3).

Is it important to like yourself? What does the Bible say about you?
• You are a child of a King (Rm.8:16)
• I am beloved of God, called to be a saint (Rm. 1:7)
• I have been make righteous through the obedience of Christ (Rm. 5:19)
• I am loved by Jesus (John 15:9)
• I belong to God (Jn. 17:9 & 1Jn 4:10, 19)
• I have the mind of Christ (I Cor. 2:16)
• I am loved by God (Eph. 2:4)
It is important to take care of yourself
• In Christ I have been make complete (Col 2:10)
• I have put on the new self (Col 3:10)
• I have been called to eternal life (ITim 6:12)

There are some hard results of having a low self esteem. Low self esteem paralyzes your potential. Low self esteem destroys your dreams. Low self esteem ruins your relationships. The nagging sense of inferiority and inadequacy isolates you. The most common way to cope with feelings of inferiority is to pull within yourself, to have little contact with others and to build walls around you.

Low self esteem also sabotages our Christian service. We refuse to do things because we are afraid of making mistakes or making a fool of ourselves. Low self esteem robs God of an opportunity to show off His power and ability through our weakness.

Let’s look at some Bible characters and their self esteem. Adam, before the fall definitely had self esteem, he walked and talked with God. But after the fall he was afraid (Gen 3:7).

Abraham, saw himself as a person of worth-even though he messed up at times. Like the time he said that Sarah was his sister because he was afraid (Gen 12:13, 20:2). Abraham was willing to offer his only son because God asked (Gen 22). Consider Moses, when God first called him to free the Israelites, he kept making excuses for not going (Ex.3-4). Four times he said "But Lord . . ." then the Lord's anger was kindled against him and He said " Is there not Aaron your brother...I know he can speak well"(Ex 4:14). After that, Moses pleaded the case of his fellow countrymen, even though they were weak he saw God face to face and talked with Him.

Jonah, God called him to go to Nineveh, but he rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. Then during the storm he was thrown into the sea and the "great fish" swallowed him up. He went to Tarshish and preached repentance and the city repented. He was displeased and was angry because God chose to save the city (Book of Jonah). He wanted to die, he asked God two times to take his life (Jonah 4:3 & 4:8). God gave him the true life story of the plant and the worm who ate it (Jonah 4:6-7). God's lesson was that Jonah did not work to have the vine grow and give him shade, it grew overnight and died overnight and he was concerned over it, but not Nineveh. God wanted to show Jonah that He cared about the people of Nineveh.

Peter was always ready to step out even if it was to stumble. At the Transfiguration he was the one who wanted to make booths for Moses, Elijah and Jesus (Matt 17:4). At the Last Supper when Jesus was washing the apostle’s feet, he said "Lord do you wash my feet?...You shall never wash my feet" Jesus told him "If I do not wash you, you have no part of me" Then Peter said "Lord not my feet only, but also my hands and my head" (Jn. 13:6-9). Peter walked on water (Matt 14:28-30). He was humbled after Jesus rose from the dead, they were on the beach. Jesus asked him "Peter do you love (agape) me" he answered "yes, I love (philos) you" two times then Jesus said "Do you love (philos) me" He was grieved because he asked him the third time do you love (philos) me (Jn. 21). He was victorious after he was baptized in the Holy Spirit, he preached a sermon which converted 3,000 people (Acts 2).

Paul, when he was Saul and persecuted the early Christians, he had a high sense of self. Then Jesus convicted him of sin on the road to Damascus (Acts 9:3-9). He began to realize that he could do nothing aside from Christ Jesus. He said, “It is not I but Christ who lives within me.” He can do all things through Christ who strengthen him (Ph. 4:13). God will supply all his needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Ph. 4:19).

Jesus, held others in esteem. He said "I am the resurrection and the life, he who believes in me, though he die yet shall he live and whoever lives and believes in me shall never die" (Jn. 11:25-6). My food and drink is to do the will of Him who sent me, and to accomplish His work (Jn. 4:34). I am the good shepherd; I know my own and my own know me (Jn. 10:14).
I am the way the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father but by me (Jn. 14:6). Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light (Mt. 11:29-30).

Self esteem is not a bad thing unless it turns to pride. It is important for us to feel empowered in order to be of service to the Lord and His work.

Blessings,
Carol

2006 Copyright by Carol A. Deel, MS, LCPC, LCMFT, All Rights Reserved. No part of this may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner.